“Disney Villains If They Practiced Self Care,” by Olivia Olson (Poetry ’18)

An excerpt from “Disney Villains If They Practiced Self-Care,” by Olivia Olson (Fiction ’08), published by Slackjaw.

The Queen in Snow White

The Queen dusts off her old talking mirror and asks it to name the fairest woman in the land. It’s sort of a loaded question, she knows, but she’s recently been ghosted by the huntsman and needs a shot in the arm. The mirror rudely shows some younger woman, and the Queen observes an unattractive rush of jealousy flowing through her body. After a long meditation followed by some joyful movement to a Spotify playlist of Lizzo music, the Queen remembers she’s an mfin’ queen and is pretty much over it. She re-gifts Snow White a Henry & David fruit basket and puts the mirror in storage.

Ursula

A natural introvert, Ursula spent her 20s gardening, honing her witchcraft, and making lengthy YouTube makeup and lifestyle tutorials to great acclaim. Now, it seems like mer-creatures are swimming out of the woodwork asking for help. Before she knows it, she’s stretched so thin she’s resentful of everyone and is shocked to find herself vengefully turning others into seaweed. One morning she stumbles across a Brene Brown TedTalk and feels like it was written just for her, and she vows to practice boundaries. When yet another plucky young princess comes to her cave to ask to be transformed, Ursula practices saying no. It’s as uncomfortable as she expected it would be, but she sits with the discomfort and assures herself that it will get easier with practice.

Continue reading Olivia’s piece here: https://medium.com/slackjaw/disney-villains-if-they-practiced-self-care-fd02e9d45470#47dd